“I deserved that promotion more than he did. They really screwed me.”
“I’m a top producer, and they still won’t make me partner. Now I can hardly stand to look at my so-called friends.”
Bluntly put: Rejection sucks. It hurts to be excluded or passed over, and it’s tempting – even automatic – to feel resentful and victimized.
Feelings of anger, rejection and resentment are a toxic brew. As the saying goes, feeling resentful is like drinking a cup of poison and hoping the other guy dies.
Here’s the antidote: It’s not about you. Being passed over, turned down, or excluded can feel intensely personal…and usually it’s not. Yes, somebody, somewhere, made a decision that triggered your intense reaction, but when you treat it as a referendum on your value or character, it stings much more.
On the other hand, recovering from rejection is all up to you. When you are knocked down, stand up, dust yourself off, and consider how to move ahead. You might get some early sympathy or support for your disappointment, but dwelling on your pain will just keep you from including yourself. Often, that promotion or partnership depends on your resilience. It’s all up to you.